How Can I Deduct My Sister’s $33K Credit Card Debt From Her Inheritance After She Manipulated Mom?

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- If parents provide financial help to one child but not another, complications may arise.
- It's advisable to engage in open conversations regarding finances and inheritances to prevent disputes and resentment.
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It can be quite challenging for parents to provide exactly equal financial support to all their children. For instance, a parent may casually offer one grown child $100 in an emergency and not think much more about it, or assist another child with paying bills during times of joblessness.
However, when one parent provides substantial financial support to just one child while the other sibling receives absolutely no assistance, this situation can rapidly become quite contentious. This is precisely what unfolds in such cases. this Reddit poster is dealing with.
Prior to her death, their mother settled their sister’s credit card debt totaling $33,000. Now, the person who posted this intends to subtract that sum from what their sister would inherit, believing it only right to do so.
Since they hold a joint account with their late mother, the poster manages the estate. With neither a will nor an appointed executor, everything falls under their control.
The combined worth of their mother's estate totals $114,000, with an additional debt of $14,000 owed to the estate by the sister alongside the $33,000 she has been provided financially. Therefore, the person who posted this believes that these sums ought to be deducted from what their sister would inherit to ensure fairness.
Nevertheless, they are convinced their sister won’t take this information lightly, and they might be correct.

Ways to Prevent Financial Disputes Within Family Members
I genuinely empathize with the individual who posted this. They do not wish to disadvantage their sister, as they mentioned, yet they also admit that their connection isn’t strong and describe her as an unpredictable person.
The person who created the poster shouldn’t miss out financially just because their sibling was unable to manage themselves and required assistance from their mother. However, since there’s no will, it’s unclear what the mother intended for her assets. It’s possible she might have preferred an equal division of her remaining wealth between both offspring, even though one received financial aid amounting to $33,000 in credit card debt relief.
This is precisely why, in such scenarios, the most effective approach is to engage in transparent and sincere discussions. It’s what I hope the person posting would have done—sit down with their sister and mother prior to her passing and openly express their emotions.
If they had stated, "Mom, you provided her with $33,000 to settle credit card debts, hence I believe it should reduce her inheritance," there might not be a problem now if their mother had agreed, saying, "Of course, absolutely."
Rather, there's an ambiguous zone since it’s uncertain what the mother intended. The sister might contend that the $33,000 was meant as a gift separate from her share of the inheritance.
It's beneficial to look for external assistance.
Right now, I am uncertain about the best course of action for the initial commenter. Splitting the inheritance equally would mean financial loss for them. However, choosing otherwise could result in significant social repercussions.
An alternative would be to meet with a financial advisor to hear their recommendations. Additionally, consulting an estate planning lawyer might help clarify what rights they possess.
However, for others facing a comparable situation, I suggest avoiding reaching such a critical stage. Instead, develop a clear strategy that all involved parties agree upon prior to a parent’s passing. Discuss inheritance and financial support candidly rather than treating these topics as unmentionable subjects. Ensuring everyone is aligned might maintain fairness financially speaking and prevent crucial relationships from deteriorating.
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